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What
do I do when we're growing distant?
Dear
Coco,
My
girlfriend, who I met on Match.com,
and I live in different cities. We have been together for almost
a year now, and the situation is starting to seem increasingly unreal.
I wonder if we should break up.
She
doesn't seem to be making much of an effort to visit me like she
used to, and although we email almost every day, we don't talk on
the phone as frequently as before. She says she loves me, but she
recently decided against moving in with me (I can't move because
my situation is less flexible than hers), and now it doesn't seem
as though we'll ever be in the same place.
Losing
Contact
Dear
Losing,
The
long-distance relationship is a contradiction in terms. At best,
it is a temporary interruption of a short-distance relationship,
after which time the reunited couple can resume the face-to-face
business of everyday love. At worst it exists primarily in one's
head, draining one's energy and bank account.
Long-distance
relationships that exist primarily online are double trouble; if
your love is reduced to letters on a screen, how do you know it's
not just a novel you're reading? If you don't have a way of living
in the same place soon and she isn't making an effort, how is she
different from a pen pal?
Tell
your girlfriend you're better off as friends. Then get back online
and quick
search for a mate, specifying that she lives nearby or is willing
to relocate.
More Advice...
Match
Advice by Coco & Ron
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