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Can
our relationship survive our politics?
Dear
Coco,
I've
been dating a woman who I really like. However, sometimes we get
into political discussions, and things suddenly start to go wrong.
We don't agree on some pretty basic issues, and I can't get a word
in edgewise. Every time I start to raise some objection to her dogmatic
views, she jumps on me and interprets everything I say as stupid,
sexist and Neanderthal (one of her favorite expressions). Once I
lost control and called her a man-hating feminazi. When we don't
talk politics, I think we have a perfect relationship, but when
we do, I wonder if we should be together at all. Is there hope for
us?
Stupid
sexist Neanderthal
Dear
Neanderthal,
Certain
ideological pairings are not for the faint of heart: NRA lobbyists
with animal rights activists, Christian Coalitionists with Gay Games
champions. On the other hand, couples that agree on every issue
are kind of creepy and represent a sort of intellectual in-breeding;
a relationship where one's every opinion is parroted by the other
is the conversational equivalent of speaking into a mirror. Maybe
you're actually better off with someone who challenges your views;
after all, sexist Neanderthals and feminazis have much to learn
from each other. The important thing is not that you disagree, but
that you can agree to disagree. If you and your friend can lob a
few friendly invectives back and forth and not let it get in the
way of a good smooch, there's hope for you yet.
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